Monday, May 23, 2011

Top 5 List

Stuff this otter doesn't like:

1) Square drink coasters. That shit is just ridiculous. Coasters should be round, yo.

2) Tank-style vacuum cleaners. Please. I don't care if they supposedly work better. If I wanted to drag something around that is short and clumsy and whines and shrieks loudly but sucks better than its tall willowy counterparts, I'd still be with my ex-girlfriend. I'll stick with the gutless-yet-agile uprights, thanks.

3) Cherry-flavored candy. If God ran one of those family-style restaurants that have old tin signs and farm implements hanging on the walls, I'm pretty sure the urinal cakes in the bathrooms would smell like cherry-flavored candy tastes.

4) Movies about evil children. Look, we already know children are evil. Do they have to rub it in?

5) Keychains that are tiny tool kits. FUCK OFF, MACGYVER.

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